We would like to apologise for conducting experiments on you for all this time; yes, since the very ‘dawn’ of mankind. We wanted to see what would happen if we replicated certain conditions from our planet on yours, and surprise, surprise- the creatures were not so smart as their makers.
You have repeated your mistakes as individuals, as groups, as a whole, umpteen times.
We still believe that there might be some good in you, which is why we do not destroy our experiment and begin anew elsewhere. (Also, we do not have the weapons of mass destruction that would be needed. Rest assured, neither do any of the countries that you accuse of possessing such troubling equipment. Nor are there any inter-galactic highways being built in your vicinity a la The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. And we most certainly do not believe in…
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